Home > life > Is Sobriety Killing My Social Life?

Is Sobriety Killing My Social Life?

It is a tough thing to say goodbye to.  I have had such a thriving social live for so long; to see the decrease in mine is kind of shocking, especially because of what I blame the majority of it on: sobriety.

Earlier this month, I graded myself on how I did on my 2009 goals for the month of January.  When writing about the ‘no drinking’ goal, I wrote: “and people are still willing to hang out with me!”  This is semi-true still; I just get this odd vibe that people do not know what to do if someone in their group is not drinking when they are.

People are used to me being a good chunk of the life of the party.  Whether it is just having a good ol’ drunken fun time, or if it’s just me being too drunk, annoying, and giving people something to talk about, all is good if I have a drink in my hand.

I was out last night with a couple college friends.  My main goal was to watch the NBA All-Star festivities, do some dinner, and possibly let my eyes wander for any single women out celebrating what people call ‘Singles Awareness Day’.  We went to Liquor Lyle’s based on a suggestion that they had very good wings.  Whoever told my friend that obviously was playing a joke on him.

All was good through the skills competition, dinner, the 3-point contest, and the dunk contest.  Drinks were consumed, laughs were plentiful, and there was talk ofpossibly meeting people at another location or having those people meet us where we were.  Then at 9:30, my friends became tired.   Then came 10pm; NBA All-Star Saturday Night festivities were done.  We got our check, paid, left, I dropped them off all by 10:10.  Was my night over at only 10:10pm?

I called another friend, and he was out on a date.  Despite this, both him and the lady he was with invited me to crash their date.  After a couple minutes of thought and being pitched on the idea, I met them downtown.  I was there for about a half hour and they decided they needed to get back home.  On ‘singles awareness day’, I was home before midnight.

This was kind of shocking at first glance.  I hope this is not the case, but when my friends became tired, it had the feel of ‘tired’ to it.  Am I that boring sober?

I then thought back to a couple weeks prior when a bunch of us went to Hooter’s to watch UFC 94.  Again, I was the sober guy and sober driver.  I was legitimately tired when the event ended at midnight.  When trying to figure out what to do, I left the decision up to everyone else.  I may have given off the vibe that I didn’t want to go out or do anything, which I regret if that is what I did, because I may have been the one that sent the signal saying ‘I’m sober, and I am not staying out late anymore.’  I am all about everyone having a good time.  Things just seemed to die down and I ended up dropping everyone off either at a bar nearer to their home, or at their home.  Maybe that was a product of people being downtown Minneapolis, where they’re not as into that scene as I am.

There is just something going on here that seems odd.  My friends are my age, in above average health, and just do not get tired at 9:30pm on a Saturday night.

The problems with this situation: I have over three months until I compete and complete a half-marathon.  Then I earn the priviledge to drink alcohol once again.  If I am that boring sober, it is going to be a while before that changes.  The other problem: are any of my friends only friends with me to see what I will do next?  How drunk will he get?  What will he do?  What can we tell him he did since he is obviously blacked out?  What story will be created because of this?

I hate that these thoughts are going through my head.  It is probably a bunch of paranoia all on my end.  If I am right, I need new friends.

~J

twitter: @jasondouglas

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  1. Liz L.
    February 16, 2009 at 11:31 PM

    Y’know what I think? It’s not that you’re boring sober, but it might be that your friends feel weird or self-concious about their drinking. I’ve had a few friends stop drinking (either for good or just for a while) and the first few times I hung out with them, I really wanted a drink. I felt like I couldn’t order one and that I was something of a lush for wanting one immediately. I know I’m guilty of saying I had to go sooner than I really did so that I could go get that glass of wine I wanted. But once I realized that they didn’t care if I drank (they only cared whether they drank or not), I was able to relax and things got back to normal. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

  2. Lia
    February 17, 2009 at 9:05 AM

    I highly doubt it’s because you’re boring sober! Whenever I take a break from drinking it’s automatically assumed because of the worst reasons. Many people don’t understand the influence it has on our health! I’m proud of you for sticking it out! They may just not want to ba a bad influence on you. I think that if this is the problem you’re having, you’re okay! If they start picking on you, or taking advantage of your sober state (getting hammered because they know you’ll take care of them) then maybe you could branch out and make some new friends. New friends in general is never a bad idea anyways! (PS…..It could also have to do with the fact that we’re just getting older that people are turning in earlier! 😉 )

  3. Rach
    February 17, 2009 at 10:16 AM

    Aw, Jase, you could never be boring!! I just think that no one really knows how to act at first around someone who isn’t drinking. We feel bad if we order a drink in front of you; like we aren’t showing support for your decision. And then sometimes I think people forget how to have fun without having alcohol involved. I also agree with the above post; maybe it’s just because people are getting older!! LOL I wish you all the luck in the world with this commitment and your ability to stick it out!

  4. Cory Mettling
    February 17, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    I think its because nobody likes you and you aren’t buying rounds anymore.

  5. February 19, 2009 at 7:32 PM

    its because you suck when you are sober. lets go drink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes! pwned. 😐

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